(The unspoken secret to success in job interviews)
"You cannot travel the path until you become the path itself." - The Buddha
Are You Driven by Attraction or Repulsion
In life, we all rely on others, and in turn, others rely on us too. We are truly connected and depend on each other to grow and succeed. Whether you're applying for a job, starting a business, or working with family members in a family business, you will always need to collaborate closely with people. Just like fingers of different lengths and shapes work together on a hand, people are different from one another. Some may think differently or act differently, and that’s okay. To succeed, you need special skills to understand and connect with these diverse people—winning them over so they work smoothly with you and help you reach your goals.
The need for acceptance
Humans naturally want to be accepted by as many people as possible—starting with family, neighbours, classmates, colleagues, friends, and the wider community. The smart people are those who try to befriend everyone they meet. They aim to be helpful and kind without expecting anything in return. They do favours, speak nicely, act respectfully, and never hurt others with their words or actions. Because of this, they become popular and attract others to them. People feel proud and happy to be connected with such warm and genuine individuals.
The repellent person- people stay away from
Now, think about someone who is rude, unhelpful, easily angered, sarcastic, and enjoys putting others down with criticism. Such people mostly think about themselves, their needs, and their happiness. They help themselves first and don't really care about others. You probably know some people like this. Do others love or avoid them? It’s usually the case that people are drawn to the friendly, kind person from the previous paragraph, while they stay away from those who are mean and selfish. Everyone prefers to be around positive and caring people.
The inner force (attracts or repels)
To sum up what we've just talked about, think about when you meet someone for the first time. Do you like or dislike them? Do they accept you, or do they reject you? And do you accept or reject them in return? Inside each person, there is a kind of force—some that attract others, like popular movie stars or great leaders. On the other hand, some people have a force that pushes others away. For example, if you see an actor who plays a villain at the airport, people usually stay away from them. Or if someone in the news is known to be dishonest, no one will rush to take selfies with them or ask for autographs. No matter what, this force comes from inside each of us, including you. It influences how people see you and how they behave around you.
Centripetal and Centrifugal Forces: Which One Are You?
The force that pulls people toward you is called the Centripetal force. On the other hand, the force that pushes people away from you is called the Centrifugal force.
So, ask yourself: Are you the kind of person who acts like a magnetic force, attracting others and making them feel comfortable around you? Or, are you unknowingly creating a force that drives people away? Your attitude and behaviour determine which force you generate.
Factors that shape Your Centripetal or Centrifugal Nature
Whether you are centripetal or centrifugal depends on many things. For example, how do people see you? It mostly depends on your appearance, how you carry yourself, how you speak when someone talks to you, and your personality and intentions. These things show if you are resourceful or not. If you are centripetal, people will be attracted to you, making you feel confident and powerful. But if you are centrifugal, people will want to stay away from you. This can be very frustrating, even if you don’t admit it. Being centrifugal makes it harder to build good relationships and can cause problems in your interactions with others. It's a risky situation. If you find yourself in this state, make a determined effort to change it right away. Be aware of your behaviour and make an effort to stay positive and open during every person-to-person interaction.
How to Become a Centripetal Force
So, how can you become a centripetal force? The answer is simple: learn what makes you attractive to others and work on becoming that person. Since our deep desire is to love and be loved, to accept and be accepted, and to feel like we belong, we need to attract people to support us in fulfilling these needs. That only happens if others see us in a positive light. If they don’t, it’s important to recognize this honestly instead of pretending everything is okay. Be willing to change yourself from a negative, people-repelling force to a positive, attractive one. Remember, the wise saying, “No man is an island,” is very true. We all need others, and becoming a positive force for connection is key.
That which makes You a True Centripetal Force
The important question is: what creates the centripetal force? Where does it come from? What does it take to grow and develop this force?
If I had to answer in just two words, I’d say: your qualities. If your qualities are special and strong, they will help you create that powerful force.
Now, you might ask: what are these special qualities? To make it easier, I’ll say they need to be perfect qualities. You need these perfect qualities to have a strong, magnetic pull.
And then you may wonder: what exactly are these perfect qualities? What mix of qualities gives you that attractive charm and acceptance? What ingredients make up these qualities? And how much of each should you use? It’s not about just a little bit here and a little bit there. You need the right amount, mixed in the perfect order, to create that powerful force.
The Ultimate Inspiration for Building Our Qualities
Aha! These questions bring us closer to the answer. The most important clue comes from the wisdom of the ages, the Holy Bible. It says: "Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. Masters over all life.'" (Genesis 1:27). This means that humans are created in the image of God, reflecting qualities like love, kindness, and strength. If we aim to develop these qualities within ourselves, we can become truly powerful and attractive to others.
We Are Made in the Image of the Universal Intelligence
And here’s the answer: the universe’s wise intelligence created humans—you and me—as a reflection of itself. We were made from the same basic pattern, in its own shape, like a clay copy made from the original mould. Everything else—animals, birds, reptiles, fish, insects, and worms—were created in different moulds. But humans, you and I, were made in the same mould as the universal intelligence itself.
Our Inner Qualities Reflect Universal Intelligence
Since we come from the same basic design as the universal intelligence, it makes sense that our inner qualities are meant to be similar to this intelligence. Also, the universal intelligence uses the power of the centripetal force to draw all of humanity toward itself. This means that when we develop positive qualities, we naturally attract others and connect with the greater whole.
Visualize the Person Who Attracts You
Now, think of a person you are always drawn to. This can be someone real or someone from stories and movies. For example, I have always admired Perry Mason, the famous lawyer from Erle Stanley Gardner’s books. I imagine him to be of medium height, with a positive attitude, easy to talk to, dressed simply in a suit. His face is handsome, his eyes sparkle, his lips smile, and he stands straight and open, as if he’s ready to listen to me. In my mind, his head is tilted slightly, showing he’s listening carefully. Just looking at this image in my thoughts gives me a feeling of comfort, as if he’s telling me, “Don’t worry, I’m with you. I’ll take care of your problems. Be at peace and watch me solve them.” Similarly, when I look at an image of Buddha with his eyes closed and a gentle smile, it gives the same reassuring and peaceful feeling.
Harnessing Your Inner Power to Attract Others
If a simple picture in your mind can bring out such calm and positive feelings, what about the real you and me? Can we intentionally create similar feelings in others? After all, we are made from the same basic pattern as the universal intelligence. We look like this intelligence, and we have the same inner qualities. Because we are created to be a tiny version of the universal intelligence, we have access to the same magnetic, attractive force—the centripetal force—that the universal intelligence has. If we focus on developing this force and let it work through us, we can naturally attract people and have a wonderful, mesmerizing effect. This would help us fulfil our need to belong. When more people seek us out, we can give them what they want, and in return, they will give us what we desire. Through giving and receiving, all our relationships will become richer and more meaningful.
Focus on Becoming Your Best Self
This is the most important part of ourselves that we need to work on. By constantly improving this quality, we can achieve the success we truly deserve, especially in situations like job interviews.
(To Be Continued)
About the Author
As a multifaceted mentor, Certified Life and Career Coach, and Counsellor, Ash Nan serves as a guiding light for individuals of all ages, including children. With certified expertise in Hypnotherapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and Emotional & Thought Freedom techniques (EFT/TFT), & soon mastering Counselling, Ash Nan empowers individuals to achieve exceptional success in their personal pursuits. As a certified Kundalini Yoga Third-Eye Practitioner, he skilfully blends ancient wisdom with modern strategies. Dedicated to supporting first-time job seekers, Ash created the transformative program "Finishing Touch," which has guided numerous students toward fulfilling careers.
He is also the author of two insightful books, “Mirror your mega success image” and his latest, "Becoming Recruitable." To learn more about his work, visit: www.ash-nan.com and www.ashnan.cts.com.