Who are you? - a very simple question, also to my knowledge possibly the only question with countless varied answers. The beauty here is there are no wrong answers to this question, everybody individually gives the right answer to this statement.
We can be a different person to different people, we act differently according to situations and circumstances. But behind all that there is a person who is meant to be who they were created to be. That person will always give us the most honest answer ever.
So to this question, “Who are you?” my answers will be - I am a human, a female, an Indian, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a HR, a mentor, a friend - whatnot, the list just goes on and everyone who can answer the question will come up with their own list. And like I said earlier, every single answer is right. But these are basic answers but deep down, who are we actually?
We are human beings with unique characteristics that define us. We are all made differently. We all tend to act differently according to the situations. There is goodness inside everyone. There is a positive attitude in everyone that kicks in when we are face to face with adverse situations. The instinct just comes in when there is a need. Like mentioned earlier, since all of us are not the same, the way we react to situations are entirely based on our nature and characteristics. Some of us are soft and some of us are used to handling things in a different way. That does not mean few are polite and others are rude. It's just that, all of us are wired that way.
To me personally, I crossed paths with a few people who felt their nature was taken advantage of and they are not acknowledged for what they do, be it professionally or personally. My suggestion will be, yes suggestion - let them be that way but you be you. Don't change you just because they acted in a certain way. You are valuable to people who choose you over other things. Your kind nature is precious in the chaotic world and it needs more humans right now and not people who judge and walk over everyone with looking back.
Don't do things for people’s approval. The peace you get when you know you have worked hard and have done the right thing inspite of all the noise around you, you have accomplished something others could never do. Doing the right thing is all that matters. You could have taken time to do it, you could have had your own reasons for doing it a certain way, at a certain pace and it's still fine. You don't have to explain why you did what you did to anyone, you did good, that’s all that matters!
Be sure to be you all along. People might hurt you and it's not necessary for everyone to understand you. You might have been there for everyone whenever they were down. Be it a pep talk or a little get away plan you had meticulously organized so that person would feel better, taking time to hear them out so they could pour out all their frustrations or worries to you. You were there when someone needed you ready with a shoulder to lean on. You took all that extra effort just to make sure they get through their worst times. On the other side, you were also the party planner and celebrations chief who handled all things down to the point where no one needed to worry.
Alas, when the tables turn and you are in need, not even a single soul turns up, yes I knew that! Everybody’s life just becomes very busy(!) they would not find even a minute to check on you if you were doing fine or you would need anything.
This is the world we are in. Somehow most people are always on the receiving end and not the giving end. So when it comes to us, don't lose heart when left alone. Take heart knowing you were there when someone needed a safe space to wind down. Remember that people like you make the world a better place to live. Having someone in our downtime is more precious than anything I could think of.
You did the right thing by just being there! To me that takes courage to be there for someone when they are breaking down. Your silent presence made all the difference to them rather than a loud appearance by someone else. Your presence was enough for them to stand back again even though you were not acknowledged. Let it go.
We are that kind of special species where we will appear out of no where when we know someone is hurting and we could just be there, holding them silently. That is who we are, really!! No one might even notice our absence when they are doing alright but that's fine, all we need to know is that they are good now. Don’t let your spirit down when you are not missed or appreciated, keep going on. We will always be that one person who turns up magically when we sense a need.
Know the world is still running and people are having hope in humanity because of people like us - selfless, unapologetically good people, the ones who we really are!!
Keep showing up, keep being the shoulders that are needed to lean on, keep being the real you, even when it takes time to value our presence, somehow, somewhere we will get that strength to show up again and remember, the world will always need us!!
My best wishes and support for being the real you!!
About the Author
Shalini Solomon comes with close to 15 years of industry experience in the Human Resources space. She is currently designated as Head - People and Values with Kazh Fintech Private Limited. She likes to interact with people and makes sure they have the space to grow and learn and are free to work without any pressure. People first is always her approach. She holds an Engineering degree in Computer Science.